Personality gestalt

Reading Dr Thomas Armstrong's Neurodiversity and this thought came to mind: 

My personality seems to lie at the intersection of autism, ADHD and a mild mood disorder. 

1. My autism - my hyper-systemizing, low empathizing nature 

2. My ADHD - my hyperfocus, distractibility & impulsivity

3. My mood disorders - sporadic instances of anxiety, proclivity for melancholic states of being, choosing a creative outlet for self-expression

Journalism and filmmaking seem to be a good convergence point for this mixed ND personality type. In some cases, music too. So I guess I did wind up in the right profession after all. Don't know if it's a profession as much as it is two or three occupations bunched up together into things that periodically make me money. 

Nah, that's my self-deprecating side talking. Of course I'm a filmmaker, and a good one at that, and I make decent money too :D. 

As an autistic creative, I feel like single-person jobs are the only ones where I've seen conventional success. In the sense that people respected what I turned in, and saw it as my perspective, didn't demand any kind of objectivity of it. 

Back when I was a journalist, my copies were widely well-liked. My very first long-form article (as an intern) got a bunch of fan mail, including one from a father who had written in to tell me how much he appreciated my accessible writing and the topicality (it was an education article, published around when colleges reopen). 

Any kind of group work, especially among hypercompetitive NTs, seems to alienate me. Not because I'm not able to bring productive ideas to the table, but because it doesn't matter what ideas you're contributing in an environment where other variables - including popularity, clout, number of years of experience, style, facial mannerisms, turn to speak, urgency in tone, (faux) politeness, etc - seem to matter a whole lot more. 

For better or for worse I never could really become an intrinsic part of my team., managing one independent music show in my entire duration at my next job, prospering all by myself at the fringes of our collective success. 

Likewise at my next jobs, which were all heavily team-centric, one person working in a silo hardly could manage to accomplish much. Out of anxiety I attempted to manage a whole array of things on my own - drawing up budgets, organizing meetings, making decks, developing & pitching concepts, producing them - which was otherwise a 5-member job, easily, each requiring its own skill set. 

Only because working in a team required manoeuvring an interpersonal dynamic that seemed alien to me. And when leading a team, somehow always felt guilty about dumping the less important work to my subordinates and doing the "more important/ bigger" work. 

But that's just how it works. That's what I've been through at my first jobs too.

When you can't seem to lead well, you are expected to follow. And following isn't easy either, in a system that prioritizes emotion over logic. Like how are you supposed to advocate for anything other than what plainly seems the most obvious choice? How are relationships, moods, all the other variables at all important? 

Mostly everywhere you go, objectivity is compromised for subjectivity. 

Anyway, what's your personality gestalt?