Of late...

Of late it's been a bit difficult to focus. It's been difficult to set deadlines and get stuff done. Although this hasn't affected our work, it has taken a toll on my health. I fell badly sick right after our Mangalore trip earlier last month. We got back around the 16th, and later that night had our first workshop. While S and A had already worked on most of it, AG & I had to give the presentation. So we all rehearsed and rehearsed nonstop, and the thing ended up going well.

But like the very next evening I started to feel all woozy. By that night I was running a high fever, and by the evening of the next day the thermometer read 104F. Mom panicked and took the first flight down Sunday morning. I rested Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and was all right by Thursday. We had to cancel a shoot Tuesday, which I felt really guilty about, but there was really not much we could do. 

Even after I recovered, though, the inertia never really went away. Task initiation and completion has been a major challenge. Hyperfocus still persists, so once I do start something, I can focus on it quite easily. Especially when coffee is involved. Ideation became a big stressor for me. I literally couldn't come up with any new ideas for a work thing we were planning. Eventually we did come through with the planning (full credit to the team for that) but I kind of surprised myself with how much effort it took me to contribute. 

Could've been a burnout, or a shutdown, or a combination of the two. One thing I've come to realize over the past few months is that my body does require more rest to recharge. Also, not that we don't take enough breaks on a regular work day, but I cannot completely switch off from work either because picking up where I left off is very difficult. Like a diesel engine, my brain takes really long to start up. 

It's actually the WAAD event that we went to some days ago that really jumpstarted my brain into ideation mode once again. Meeting and speaking to the community gave us a bunch of new ideas, and we came back all energized and full of renewed motivation. 

But like PS said on his episode, it's an incredibly lonely journey. More so as an entrepreneur. You're literally only ever with the few people who help you run the show, and that's about it. It's a quiet, little silo that toils away day after day, and beyond a point you're not even sure if you're in charge of it or it is in charge of you. 

On a side note, I think a lot of the ideas that we have currently would be great to implement. But we need a bigger team to handle all this work. Soon, hopefully. Working towards it, taking small strides in all directions.