13.12.23
9.12.23
Feel the light, keep fighting the good fight
Saw a good movie last night. About a bunch of young folx in the 60s who band together to save a park in their small hill town.
Got taken over by this overwhelming feeling of what it would be like to work for the best, coolest original content company right now.
The same one that produced, marketed and promoted the film.
Then I woke up this morning and reminded myself:
- I won't ruminate over past incidents
- I won't compare myself to others
- I will work with laser sharp focus
- I will have a clear strategy in mind at all times
- I won't depend much on people who I shouldn't expect much from to begin with
- I will work on building/ improving relations with the people who I can depend on
- I will ignore and tune out as much bullshit as I can
- I will make my peace with with moving forward at a snail's pace for as long as it takes me to get to my destination. The destination will make the slow journey worth it (hopefully)
- I will at all times be reasonably proud of how long I have come thus far, and of my resilience and hard work
- I will depend on the universe for a lot more than I do currently
- These will be my tenets that I will live by
2.12.23
25.11.23
24.11.23
18.11.23
4.11.23
Bird on the wire
I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch
He said to me, "you must not ask for so much"
And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door
She cried to me, "hey why not ask for more"
Diamonds from Sierra Leone
How could you falter when you're the rock of Gibraltar?
I had to get off the boat so I could walk on water
This ain't no tall order, this is nothin to me
Difficult takes a day, impossible takes a week
I do this in my sleep
I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man
Let me handle my business, damn
Touch the sky
Before anybody wanted K. West beats
Me and my girl split the buffet at KFC
Dog, I was havin nervous breakdowns
Like, 'Man, are these niggas that much better than me?'
Last call
Last year shopping my demo I was tryna shine
Every motherfucker told me I couldn't rhyme
Now I could let these dream-killers kill my self-esteem
Or use my arrogance as the steam to power my dreams
I ain't play the hand I was dealt, I changed my cards
I prayed to the skies and I changed my stars
You know there's a time in every man's life where he gotta make a change
Try to move up to the next level
11.10.23
enLIghtenment 14 - Alex Partridge
Burnout is so tricky to avoid, navigate and overcome.
It's also especially difficult to prognosticate.
In the larger scheme of things...
The world will be split up and broken into two halves.
The oppressors and the oppressed.
Neither half will recognise nor validate the other's perspective.
The oppressors will remain agnostic about the perpetual marginalisation of the oppressed.
The oppressed will fail to find a voice clear and resounding enough to scream out loud: "this. is. enough."
Some of us will die fighting the good fight.
Some of us will die buying into the notion that good does not exist. That good does not have the power to change bad.
Some of us will flit between the two. Gaining and losing hope.
Soon enough, no amount of good will be enough to fight against the bad.
All we'll see all around us is bad. We'll then buy into the notion that all good is dead. For good.
Bad will take over, not like a slow decay anymore but a fast-spreading virus.
Some of us will be gone by then. This'll all be irrelevant.
Hopefully to a universe way into the future, in a galaxy light years ahead of us, on the way to where we'll get a chance to objectively look at everything we did. Examine our Earth lives closely and see how we fucked up and where.
And then by the time we get to this new universe, hopefully we're so hyperaware of the way we fucked up earlier that all we're trying to do is unfuck things.
That that becomes the nature of man the way the nature of man now is to fuck things up.
Hopefully this is only one short pitstop in a long, much longer journey that actually means something. That actually leads to something good.
In the larger scheme of things...
And hopefully out there, if the world is broken into two similar halves, there's some strong force of justice present as a ubiquitous entity, like gravity, that prevails over everything no questions asked.
Because at some point, things need to even out. If not here, somewhere else. If not now, some time soon.
Otherwise, seriously... what's even the fucking point of all this?
 |
| Think motherfucker, think |
5.10.23
ADHD, autism & entrepreneurship
There's a video we shot a few days ago in which we interviewed an old colleague of mine, Vishi. Vishi is now a food entrepreneur, based out of Pune, and a few months ago he discovered his ADHD.
In his interview, he spoke about the connection between entrepreneurship and neurodivergence. There was this one bit where he said that entrepreneurship has these lean years where you're not enjoying your work but you've got to stick it out anyway.
That hit hard, especially with how the past month has been. Somehow I just went out of sync with our work a couple of full weeks in September, and lost track of why we'd been doing what we're doing, and what's the way forward. Couldn't manage to do much, just the regular BAU stuff... that too with some difficulty.
I figured it could just be a meltdown. Or strong withdrawal from some SSRI + Clonazepam medication I took mid-September. But maybe it was neither... maybe just work things not coming through the way I had hoped they would.
Anyway, it made me realize I want to read up more on meltdowns. I want more actually autistic accounts of the types of meltdowns and shutdowns that exist and that people have gone through. Maybe just a book titled meltdowns where each chapter is a different type of meltdown, or an anthology of meltdowns experienced by different people across the spectrum.
But anyway, it passed. Then yesterday, I had the most productive day I've had in three weeks. Felt good. Also felt exhausted at the end of the day. Not the kind of exhausted where you're lost and you feel broken and done with things, but the kind where you've accomplished the day's purpose.
Been regularly exercising throughout this period though, so that's a big plus. Now I've moved my exercise time to mornings, as soon as I wake up. Earlier I would do it in the evening, and if the day was too busy, I would just end up not doing it at all.
Also started the sadness pack on Head space. Don't know why but it keeps me focused on the breath way more. Had a conversation with Eric Garcia, author of 'We're Not Broken,' and thoroughly enjoyed it. Going to do a long post on parts of the book I identified with and the TMMS conversation we are going to have with him.
Seriously sometimes wish I was diagnosed earlier in life. Meh.
3.9.23
Don't You Know?
Wrote this piece for Aailaan, the Action for Autism newsletter.
In his moving article ‘Don't Mourn For Us’, autistic self-advocate Jim Sinclair writes about expectations.
Let’s say you’re a parent expecting a child. Your default expectation might be to have a typical one. You expect this child will grow up typically, and see the world and naturally understand and adapt to its ways.
And when you discover your child is autistic, you might grieve and talk about how it was the most traumatic thing that ever happened to you.
Naturally, none of the expectations you have of your child see the light of day.
Expectations themselves are a tricky concept.
Picture a vast, uncertain piece of land with lots and lots of roads branching out in all directions, and people in it scattered everywhere. Kind of like the dream city from Inception.
Let’s even give it a name - Uncharted.
There’s no signboards anywhere in Uncharted, so you never know which road is leading where. And even if there were signboards, all that would be written on them are the words ‘Don't you know?’
Because in Uncharted, nothing is clear, everything is implied.
Out here, you see the vast majority of people scampering along with a wide smile across their face, going about their daily lives just knowing where to head off to and what to do next.
They all seem to be on a mission.
And you? You’re left dawdling about - a few steps here, there, in every direction - before you backtrack and find yourself right where you started. You want to progress, and you want to go places. But how is that ever going to happen when there are no directions and the instructions are next to none?
You want to ask someone the right way, but no one here is willing to stop and listen. Even the few that do end up laughing at you because they can’t believe how something so obvious is so lost on you.
They think it’s simply attention-seeking behavior. They call you out for it.
And you can’t figure out why they need to be this way. You can’t figure out what could possibly be so difficult about just helping someone out.
At its core, it’s an expectation mismatch.
Figuring out expectations requires a keen intuition for the way Uncharted works. Because in Uncharted, nothing is absolute.
Across Uncharted, along different intervals, the rules arbitrarily change. In some places, you’re expected to talk softly. Other times, you’re expected to walk gracefully and never run. In some places, you can be loud and brash, and as soon as the situation changes even slightly, you have to put on a formal demeanor.
Language changes depending on who you’re talking to. And people are quick to take offense.
The problem is that the rules are arbitrary. And there is no curriculum on them. No study material exists on meeting expectations correctly. Literally every problem seems out of syllabus.
You’re just expected to know all this.
Now picture your small child in Uncharted. No more than five or six years old, extremely impressionable and supremely ambitious.
As he/ she/ they - somehow - make their way through this cold mess, they come across two other kids - Wally and Tom. Wally and Tom look as bewildered and confused as your child (YC), as they try to navigate Uncharted without much help. Thankfully they have each other to keep them going.
YC: Hey, are you guys lost too?
Wally: Yes, we are! This place is so confusing.
Tom: It really is. And the people are mean too.
YC: Did anything happen?
Tom: Yeah! I keep getting told by my teachers in school that I'm too stupid to learn anything!
Wally: I’ve had the same experience. A recent drawing I turned in as part of an assignment came back with the remark: “You have neither imagination nor good ideas.”
YC: I’m sorry about that. Can I see it?
Wally: Sure. Here you go.
YC: Wow. This is so... different from anything I’ve ever seen. It’s beautiful and unique. It makes you wonder what you’re trying to express through it.
Wally: (pleased) Really? You think so? Well, Tom here felt the same way, and that’s how we became friends. Maybe you could join us too? We’re on a mission to find others like us.
YC: I’d be happy to. I was kind of lost here as well, and it would be good to have friends for the rest of my journey.
It was in 2022 that Aditi (my wife, 24) and I (34) discovered our autism. A late diagnosis doesn’t really come out of the blue - by the time you get around to receiving your official diagnosis (if you choose to; self-diagnosis is valid too) you’re pretty much certain you’re autistic. Because by then, you’ve probably read countless books and articles from self-advocates, joined WhatsApp groups, made LinkedIn connections, and spoken to at least a dozen others who have had the exact same lived experiences as you.
I, for one, discovered that, like me, there are at least 10 others my age who have a background in journalism and non-fiction filmmaking, and are musicians themselves. An overlap of literally that many intersections existed among at least 10 of us!
YC: And you thought you were the only one!
Like YC found Wally and Tom, you realize there are many, many others like you. Others who don’t just know things. Others to whom invisible signboards are... invisible, not obvious.
Others to whom Uncharted is like navigating Mars.
Finding out about your autism, honestly, is one of the best feelings on earth. But it’s also very confounding.
It’s a great feeling because you’ve now found that missing part of your identity that nothing else seemed to adequately describe. ‘Quirky’ is a loose word, ‘eccentric’ is a softer word for crazy, ‘asocial’ is too one-dimensional, and ‘gifted’... well, it makes you feel like you came into this world neatly covered in decorative wrap.
It’s amazing to have a neutral word that describes you, how your mind works, and how you see things. You feel emancipated by it, and it becomes something that forms the bedrock of what popular culture so loudly proclaims as ‘being yourself.’
I mean, if everyone's so proudly showing themselves off, why shouldn't I, right?
And that’s where things start to get a bit muddy.
YC: Don't you know about autism?
Tom: No. What does that mean?
Wally: I’ve heard some people here use that term... I think to them it means that there's something... ‘wrong’ with someone.
YC: Well, I am autistic.
Tom: Really? Is that so?
YC: Yes.
Tom: Well, rest assured we don’t think the way others do. Maybe that’s why we’re two of a kind, eh?
Wally: Three of a kind now!
(They exchange smiles)
Wally: So wait... does that mean everything that is not autistic, then, is... ‘right’?
Tom: Well, I think there’s no right or wrong way to be. It’s too narrow to think that way. Besides, the way you are is not really the problem. The way the world fails to understand you is.
‘Autism,’ by default, is a neutral word. But unfortunately, the people of Uncharted don’t look at it that way.
To them, our world is a pastiche of templatized blocks. An assembly line.
Every living thing in Uncharted is given a label and tucked away in a filing cabinet, and thought to be just like everyone else stuffed in that cabinet. Many of one kind.
Individuality is seen as a threat. As an act of rebellion against the system. An act of demanding a separate cabinet for yourself, demanding space that is so precious and scarce.
To Uncharted, autism is no more than a defect. A life that fell just short of life.
A manner of being that - by default - refuses to conform to templates. That doesn’t happily take the shape of whatever mold it is poured in.
The truth is - we demand our own shape, size, form. And we expect to find place in Uncharted. We expect to be appreciated. Why shouldn’t we?
Why shouldn’t we ‘be ourselves’ and be celebrated for it when literally everyone else does?
Tom: But don’t you know that’s not how it works? People are either amused or scared or weirded out by anything they can’t immediately label and file away.
Wally: People's minds are like cabinets, and if they can’t find a cabinet for a piece of fresh, new information, they don't know how to react to it!
YC: Okay, I get that. So why isn’t love or curiosity their first reaction to anything then? Why don’t they try to understand another’s perspective? That doesn’t seem too hard, does it?
Tom: Oh, I don’t know.
Wally: I think I might know why. It could be because... life here seems like a never-ending competition of sorts. Everyone’s doing the same five or six things, and fighting really hard to get better at them.
Tom: But I don’t want to do the same five or six things.
YC: Me neither. So you’re saying that love might make them look weak and give someone else an edge over them?
Wally: I think so.
Tom: I think you’re being a little pessimistic here. It could just as well be that... just like we never learnt love in school, they didn’t either. Now they don’t know how to rectify it because they’re... so old."
(all laugh)
Autism is so dynamic, so different in each individual, and such a vast spectrum that it’s difficult to adequately describe it.
After we started our Instagram community Much Much Spectrum - and quickly grew to a collective of more than 30,000 folx in less than a year - we learnt so much about the world.
Autism, to some of us, is a different way of doing things. To some others, it’s a host of different kinds of sensitivities. To me, most often it’s major communication challenges. To some others, it’s being in a state of constant anxiety and not really even realizing it. To some people, it’s all of these things, and to yet some others, it might be none of these or only a few.
So we asked ourselves - how does someone, then, even advocate for themselves when so many people within the same community don’t even always relate to each other’s lived experiences?
Where’s the baseline?
Sometimes we get so immersed in trying to address an issue, we put it under a microscope and examine every little detail trying to find a solution. In doing so, we forget the larger space that the issue exists in - the system.
YC: Don't you know you can always zoom out?
The Uncharted system proclaims the need for a baseline – ‘build a ground of commonality where we accumulate everyone,’ it says.
Tom: Make a filing cabinet and throw them all in!
Wally: That's such an ‘Uncharted’ way of looking at things!
And that’s when we had an epiphany: let there be no baseline. If everyone has a different experience with autism, so be it. That’s the beauty and the challenge of this experience. And everyone’s experience is valid.
None of us needs a cure. We’re complete the way we are.
We just have to make room for ourselves and others like us out here in Uncharted.
Over the past year, we’ve spoken to a lot of people who identify as being autistic. We’ve put all this content out on our socials - Instagram, YouTube, LinkedIn.
Cisgender, trans, non-binary, old people, adolescents, teenagers, 20-somethings - individuals at different intersectionalities have candidly shared their lived experiences with us.
Almost all of them speak about their social struggles: being bullied, misunderstood, marginalized, ridiculed. And, as a result, finding themselves mostly alone.
One big reason for this, as Sinclair very rightly points out, is the expectation mismatch.
The system around an autistic child is not unhappy because of the autism itself. That's nothing to be unhappy about.
The system around an autistic child is unhappy because their expectations weren’t met.
They would have the individual, but without their autism. What they don’t realize is that the individual is not the same person without the autism.
And by the same token, the autistic individual is unhappy with the system around them because his or her or their expectations from this world are never satisfactorily met.
YC: So guys, what do we do? We’re just the three of us. Who’s going to listen to what we have to say?
Tom: And even if they do, who’s to say they’re going to help change things? I mean, it’s Uncharted. Things don’t just change around here.
Wally: I get what you guys are saying. But... I mean, there's no harm in trying, is there?
Tom: What do you mean?
Wally: Sure, things might not change for everyone all at once. But what if we do one little thing, which changes one kid's life. And what if that one kid and two others group up and do another little thing that changes two other kids' lives? And what if they...
YC: Yeah, yeah we get it. A chain reaction, right?
Wally: Kind of. That’s how these things work, right?
Tom: But where would we start? What’s our... baseline?
YC: What’s a baseline?
Tom: Like... a point in the conversation that’s simple enough for everyone to understand. Something that everyone identifies with, relates to, something that... everyone feels... whether they’re different or not?
(The three think real hard as Uncharted goes about its business as usual.)
YC: I got it! You said ‘different or not’, right? That, exactly there, is our baseline!
Tom: Difference?
YC: Yes!
Wally: So you’re saying we ignore everything else and just start talking about how everyone’s different? Sure, we’re all different, but there’s more to it than that, don’t you think?
YC: Well, of course there is! And the entire Uncharted system right from the ground up will need to change for people to understand all the complex stuff. I’m just saying a good place to start would be to tell everyone that...
Tom: That we need to look at it through a lens of love for what's different?
YC: Kind of!
Wally: That makes sense. Sympathy is a good way to understand what people might be going through.
YC: I think you mean empathy?
Wally: Oh, that’s right! I get confused.
Tom: So how do we get on with this? I’m kicked about our new idea!
YC: I think a good place to begin would be to start speaking openly about what we think in and believe. To see people not as unidimensional creatures who are worth only as much as they’re able to contribute in Uncharted currency.
Wally: But instead to see them as multifaceted beings who live nuanced lives and have dynamic experiences.
Tom: Who can contribute in multiple different ways, if only we chose to identify and support their skills and talents.
(A round of enthused hi-fives)
YC: Guys, heads up. The people of Uncharted may tell us we’re only a bunch of idealistic kids who don’t know what the real world is like. But anyone who thinks like that doesn’t get much done, you know."
Tom: True! Well, I’ve got a good feeling about this. We may be on to something here. What do you guys think?
For all practical purposes, this is a parallel universe in which this same story is unfolding. Except, it's me, my wife Aditi, and everyone else we have met on our journey running Much Much Spectrum. At times it’s been challenging, invigorating, exhausting... but what it’s always been is enlightening.
Just like Wally and Tom needed each other to get through Uncharted, each of us needs at least one other person who understands us and whose attitude towards us is prefaced with empathy.
Just one other person. That’s really not a big ask in a world that comprises over 8 billion of us. A world of over 8 billion differences we are.
Much Much Spectrum is not a company. We are a culture. A culture of understanding, empathy, and appreciation. A way of life that listens, doesn’t judge, and is keen on putting out as many authentic lived experiences as we can.
A voice that sparks conversation.
Because Aditi and I believe our stories are what we are all about. Our stories are us.
On some level, we’re all lost. Whether neurodivergent or not, we’d all love someone who truly understands us and with whom we can be our truest selves.
And so all of life becomes an act of figuring out who that person is to whom you could go up and say, “Hey, I was kind of lost here as well, and it would be good to have friends for the rest of my journey.”
“Would you be that friend to me?”
The scene cuts to 50 years later. We’re still in Uncharted. But it’s a different place than where we started. Well, slightly.
Wally is now a famous cartoonist. He’s a film producer, director, screenwriter, voice actor, animator, and entrepreneur. He’s credited as the creator of the first full-length animated feature film, and the winner of the most Academy Awards ever.
The world knows him better as Walt Disney.
As for Tom, he became an inventor and businessman who is credited with developing many devices in fields such as electric power generation, mass communication, sound recording, and motion pictures, and holds a record 1,093 patents for his inventions.
The world knows him better as Thomas Edison.
While history does speculate about the possibility of Edison and Disney having developmental challenges, the point here goes beyond that.
Various historical accounts suggest that growing up, both Edison and Disney faced systemic challenges and stigma because of their personalities. But their work, their inventions, their imagination did underscore the importance of inclusivity – making entertainment and science accessible to all.
Now take a minute and consider this:
Go to that part of your brain - that filing cabinet - where you’ve stocked up all your knowledge about neurodiversity. About everything you think you know about autism.
Open it, and empty it out. Literally purge that cabinet of all its contents and keep the empty drawer on a desk in front of you.
You’ve now unlearnt any ableist biases you might’ve had, and can start over.
Pick up some books by autistic writers. Listen to autistic-led podcasts. Watch films made by autistic individuals.
You have the internet, and on it, at least a million #ActuallyAutistic voices.
What's your excuse?
And as for YC – or, your child – the world is poised to become his or her or their proverbial (inclusive) oyster.
21.8.23
enLIghtenment 12 - Pete Wharmby
Pete Wharmby. Writer, speaker and all-round genius from our community. I find it hard to agree with all of the below, but yes, on a good day I'll relate to like 8 or 9 of these at best.
And on a bad day... well, let's not even get there.
13.8.23
Let the chips on all their shoulders fall where they may
We got featured in The Hindu today!
Every once in a while something like this happens. Something that reminds you no matter how invisible your work may seem at times, there are people out there watching it.
That all good work finds an audience.
We're quite fortunate that way to have a lot going on in our favour. And so, I feel, it falls on us to employ that privilege responsibly and do the right thing. Do it consistently, and do it for the right reasons, and do it in the right manner.
Some stuff, unfortunately, has not worked out for us as we would have liked it to. Some organizations in this space have outright shown no regard for us or our work. We've supported them, even reached out to a fair few. But they've consciously chosen to ignore us.
It's okay, honestly. We don't expect everyone to support us anyway. So what if we're all in the same space? That's anyway such a strange reason to have to support someone.
But sometimes, it gets to us. In small little ways, as an add on, especially when other major things don't work out too. But when the major things work out, these small things don't matter fuck all.
Like today - we got featured in a cover story in the Hindu. Literally the first page of the supplement carried all our names - papa's, Aditi's and mine. And mine - and our company's - was also part of a blurb, so it must've stood out. A close friend from Bangalore gave us a shoutout on LinkedIn, and his post itself got 100+ likes at last count, and a bunch of love.
So that's basically all I wanted to say:
1. All good work finds an audience
2. There's no friggin need to feel bad about anyone who doesn't support you. Their support isn't going to make much of a difference anyway
3. Make more major things work out. This will take time and lots of consistent effort, but it'll trump everything else.
10.8.23
9.8.23
enLIghtenment 10 - Tara Kapur
Don't know Tara personally, but she's a fellow producer who's worked with Supari and Netflix, and now heads up Duolingo.
Really like her updates, and I think she's such a genius.
8.8.23
6.8.23
enLIghtenment 8 - Daniel de Vries
I feel like this is more of a cultural nuance.
Some people like it if you cut to the chase. Some like to take it slow.
Honestly depends who you're pitching to and when. But still, good reminder of the fact that the pitch play needs to be tweaked basis who you're speaking to.
25.7.23
enLIghtenment 7 - Sahil Bloom
Don't really know who this guy is but I've seen a lot of his posts on LI.
Here goes something called the 4 types of luck:
20.7.23
What is beauty to you?
Beauty to me is something that's true to itself in a no-holds-barred kind of way.
Something that is the way it is because it knows no better, because it cares for no better.
19.7.23
18.7.23
Viewfinder: A sustainable culture
Some days ago I went for a workshop. It was called Viewfinder: A Sustainable Culture and it was organised and conducted by Dipa De Motwane, producer on Jubilee (among a bunch of other films and series) and mother to Vikram Motwane. The workshop was on a Saturday morning at the Sun n Sand hotel in Juhu.
It was in a small ballroom up on the second floor. They had put up roundtables all around the ballroom and around each roundtable there were 5 to 6 chairs. We all sat in groups, and in my group was Aarti Bajaj, editor of Jubilee, Rockstar, etc.
The first session was an overview of the production pipeline, in which Dipa aunty took the audience through the whole production process. She peppered the session with bits of her own experience, and kept it interactive by asking the audience to chip in with their own experiences.
For the most part, the whole thing felt like an 'in' circle because almost everyone knew each other and had worked with Phantom before. Very few folx - like me - were complete outsiders. But honestly, that's the part I cared for the least, so I went around making connections anyway.
Then we had lunch. After lunch, the group activities began. They gave us a sheet of paper with some scenarios on them, and we had to brainstorm solutions to those scenarios. They gave us about half an hour to brainstorm, then went around in turns asking each group for their solution to the problem. This worked to break the ice among us, and was a good exercise overall.
After this session, Dipa aunty spoke about her experiences for a bit (again) before breaking into the next session: a panel discussion with 4 guests from the industry. We had Kazvin Dangor (production designer), Vasan Bala (director), Yashoda Parthasarthy (VFX artist) and Shruti Kapoor (costume designer). They took about an hour to talk to us about how as producers we could support them better. Then the floor was open for questions and answers, and that took about half an hour or so.
Then we broke for tea and snacks, during which time we socialized some more. I went and spoke to almost everyone, exchanging numbers and handing out my new card.
The last session was a budgeting overview session by Dipa aunty. She sat on a chair and spoke to everyone this time. This was way more interactive as she threw it open for everyone and fielded questions from the audience. This went on for about a couple of hours, until we finally closed around 7 pm.
All in all, it wasn't a great workshop or anything. Just about covered the basics. Even more surprising, the 'sustainability' part of the conversation only addressed recycling plastics and using matka water on set. Mental health, gender & disability inclusion, etc weren't even touched on. I get that neurodivergence is a very new concept for most, but LGBTQIA+ awareness should be there in media circles at least by now.
Anyway, I thought of making a note of all this because we want to do workshops too. We want to see if this kind of a format works by calling in small groups of parents, caregivers, teachers, etc, and doing a neurodivergence 101 primer, across India. Even potentially get a brand on board.
Must put down all the segments, resources, subjects and formats we could explore.
Here's a group picture from the workshop -
16.7.23
OS rollback
A couple of days ago, the 'update system settings' icon on my macbook really frickin' pissed me off. Enough to consider that damn update and just get the icon out of the way. So I installed Ventura and did the full upgrade. Took about 15 minutes, and then the laptop was back on.
The first half an hour was good, where I explored the new iconography, colors, features, etc. Then I started Ableton to do some Kontakt work. It ran well for about 5 - 10 minutes, while I was working on some light patches, but then as soon as the load got heavier, the damn thing began to lag.
Now, it wasn't so bad that I couldn't run the instrument at all. But it was bad enough so that whenever I would add more instruments to the track, the whole thing would lag like crazy.
The laptop was also overheating like crazy. So, for the first time in my life, I decided to do a Mac OS rollback. Here's how to do it, for future purposes:
- Make sure you're not skipping more than 2 OS versions. 1 is ideal. 2 is the most you should go.
- Use the App Store to download whichever OS version you want to install
- Take an empty USB drive that can hold more than the size of the OS installer
- Go to Disk Utility and erase the USB. Name it USB and format it in the style of MAC OS Extended (Journaled)
- Once it's erased, go to Terminal and run this command: sudo /Applications/Install\ macOS\ Monterey.app/Contents/Resources/createinstallmedia --volume /Volumes/USB --nointeraction
- Enter your password
- Take another empty hard drive that can hold more than the size of your Mac's hard drive.
- Go to Time Machine, follow the instructions there and back up all your data to the current moment
- Restart the laptop. Hold down Cmd + R to boot in recovery mode
- When it throws up options on the main screen, choose to Erase the MAC OS HDD (takes about a couple of minutes at best)
- Restart the laptop. Hold down Option while the laptop boots up
- When the options pop up, click 'Install Mac OS *name*'
- Enter your password, click continue, and click on the Mac OS internal HDD
- After installation, it'll ask you whether you want to continue with the blank HDD or migrate data using Time Machine. Click on the Time Machine option
- This takes about 45 minutes or so, and when done, your laptop is like the older version of itself but with the OS you want
But if this doesn't work, I'm going to go back to Big Sur. Have used that on the office Mac computer and it works like a breeze.
Edit: 2 days later - Did this. Went back to Big Sur cuz Monterey sucks too. Laptop's not heating up with Big Sur. Not yet at least. Also, made the bootable drive a bit differently today- dragged the location addresses and files over to Terminal and found out that it puts in the command by itself. Also- the process was much longer today, but went as smoothly as ever.
Edit: All right, f this. Sitting in August and the office machine has still not adjusted to Monterey. So screw it, rolling back to Big Sur 11.7.7.
Edit: Rolled back to 11.7.7 but it just wasn't going past the login screen. Figured it was an issue with my Time Machine, so erased the HDD and reinstalled Big Sur 11.7.9 without loading up a TM backup this time.
Which basically meant I sat and spent my whole evening (Aug 21) installing back apps and plug-ins. On the plus side, the machine is super fast now, so the editors will thank me.
Here's a video to come back to:
No more installing updates.
Power off the laptop without the USB stick
Cmd + R
Select Utilities in the mini bar
Click Startup Security Utility
Click ‘Medium Security’
Click ‘Allow booting from external or removable media’
Shut down
Insert USB stick
Hold ‘Option’ while powering on MacBook
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