There's a video we shot a few days ago in which we interviewed an old colleague of mine, Vishi. Vishi is now a food entrepreneur, based out of Pune, and a few months ago he discovered his ADHD.
In his interview, he spoke about the connection between entrepreneurship and neurodivergence. There was this one bit where he said that entrepreneurship has these lean years where you're not enjoying your work but you've got to stick it out anyway.
That hit hard, especially with how the past month has been. Somehow I just went out of sync with our work a couple of full weeks in September, and lost track of why we'd been doing what we're doing, and what's the way forward. Couldn't manage to do much, just the regular BAU stuff... that too with some difficulty.
I figured it could just be a meltdown. Or strong withdrawal from some SSRI + Clonazepam medication I took mid-September. But maybe it was neither... maybe just work things not coming through the way I had hoped they would.
Anyway, it made me realize I want to read up more on meltdowns. I want more actually autistic accounts of the types of meltdowns and shutdowns that exist and that people have gone through. Maybe just a book titled meltdowns where each chapter is a different type of meltdown, or an anthology of meltdowns experienced by different people across the spectrum.
But anyway, it passed. Then yesterday, I had the most productive day I've had in three weeks. Felt good. Also felt exhausted at the end of the day. Not the kind of exhausted where you're lost and you feel broken and done with things, but the kind where you've accomplished the day's purpose.
Been regularly exercising throughout this period though, so that's a big plus. Now I've moved my exercise time to mornings, as soon as I wake up. Earlier I would do it in the evening, and if the day was too busy, I would just end up not doing it at all.
Also started the sadness pack on Head space. Don't know why but it keeps me focused on the breath way more. Had a conversation with Eric Garcia, author of 'We're Not Broken,' and thoroughly enjoyed it. Going to do a long post on parts of the book I identified with and the TMMS conversation we are going to have with him.
Seriously sometimes wish I was diagnosed earlier in life. Meh.
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