This dependence on barbers is too real. Over time, they take on almost the same importance as your family physician.
It's not just about the way they cut your hair. I mean of course there's that, like they know what cut suits you best, what number to have the machine on, just how much to cut the top off vs the sides, etc. But it's also the environment.
Haircuts are very sensorially disturbing. The whirring machine comes really close to your ears, sometimes strands of hair get entangled in scissors and pulled, the razor blade tickles at first, then makes your skin red and sore. It's all kinds of irritating. It used to be worse when I was a kid, and it's got much better over the years, but it's still irritating enough to make me put off going to the saloon right up until the point where my hair has grown so much that it won't part properly to either side and will just grow vertically towards the sky and make me look like Goku from Dragonball Z.
It's also almost 40% white now, so I look like a very old Goku.
A few days ago I called up my new usual guy. Quick side story: my new usual guy came into the picture after my old usual guy became difficult to get a hold of. I had an even older usual guy who moved to Chembur, and I went there a couple of times (which he really appreciated) but I quickly grew out of travelling so far just for a haircut. Bloody haircut would take 20 mins and going and coming would take 2 hours.
So my new usual guy is great. The place is great too, it's close by. It's not too fancy, not too roadside. Perfectly in the middle. Like those old barbershops where your dad would take you on Sunday mornings. This one has a TV playing old Hindi B4U type movies all the time, and I always get the seat right below the TV, so I'm glued to the screen. Sometimes my new guy looks at me strangely when I'm watching TV that intently. I think he's thinking I come there mainly to watch movies, and the haircut is just a side thing.
Anyway, so this guy became my new usual guy because he just instinctively seemed to know what top and side hair length would suit my face best. And he did it without requiring much instruction. When he finished, I tipped him decently, which is my way of appreciating anyone who takes their job seriously and does it well. But the kicker is that I didn't take his number down that first time. And the next time I went there, the saloon was shut. I went there once again some days later, but he was fully booked out. And that's when I took his number down, and that's how he officially became my new usual haircut guy.
That sacred act of exchange of numbers is pivotal to making any new barber you new usual guy.
Long story short, called up new usual guy for an appointment. But sadly, he's just sat in a train to his village. I asked when he'll be back. A month. It's already been a month since I last got a haircut, so the hair's going quite out of control already. So now I'm left with the following options:
1. Suck it up and go back to old usual guy
2. Go to random guy (this is dangerous territory)
3. Make a new usual guy
I think it's too soon for 3. And 2 just doesn't seem appealing. I'll regret it for a long time if random guy screws up and does a bad job. So I guess 1 it is.
But the problem is, old usual guy knew I was his usual guy. I haven't gone there for almost 6 months, and he might see me and figure out I have a new usual guy. Which would just get awkward because... I don't know why but it will. It feels like cheating. So i have to make up some lie to tell him about why I haven't come to him in 6-odd months and still don't look like Ranbir Kapoor from Animal.
So got to think of a lie before I go there. Or I wait for a month for new usual guy to come back, and just go to him only.
Or I go back to option 1, and go there disguised as someone else. But I can't wear a wig, obviously, because if he goes to cut the wig he'll figure out it isn't someone else but me. If I wear a fake moustache, I can't get a shave. Damn.
ETA: So I went for a haircut. Found a nice enough middle ground. Called up new usual guy, who said just go to the shop and meet this other guy who'll sort you out. So I did, and the new guy knew my usual guy (obviously), and he was pretty chill about the whole thing. This is what is called a situationship I guess.
So random guy knew usual guy, so there was no chance of him becoming new usual guy, and usual guy doesn't even get insecure that i'll dump him and get new usual guy.
Point being, got a good haircut. He also advised me to put badam oil in my hair at night. Will do that.
Think I've spent a lot of time reflecting on this. Time to get back to things that help run the house.
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