Meeting Savitri Gupta

Met Savitri Gupta today. Actually, met her first on Aditi's birthday but have only been able to find the time to write about it today. 

Savitri Gupta (38, she/ her) is a visually impaired IIT Bombay PhD fellow. We first met at the We Make Film screening in SNDT Juhu a week ago. Aditi and she exchanged numbers, and we had been in touch with her ever since. 

Around 11 am Wednesday we picked her up from her campus hostel and drove over to Powai Hiranandani hoping to find a cosy little place for a quick chat.

This is a short conversation we had in the car -

Aditi: हम Autistic हैं। हमें loud noises और शोर शराबा बिलकुल पसंद नहीं।

Savitri: ए मुझे भी बिलकुल पसंद नहीं। मुझे लगता है मैं भी थोड़ी autistic हूँ! (/lh) 

Powai has so many nice parks, but the good ones were all shut. We found this really battered garden sort of place right by a society of row houses. It had an empty bench and so we went there. The rains had made the entrance area all mucky. Aditi was leading Savitri, and it all came so instinctually to us to talk about our surroundings so Savitri would have the same information about where we were as us. 

Because agency is super important. 

Things were a bit slow to take off - turns out we're all equally shy and not very comfortable with first meetings. But the awkwardness didn't last very long at all. 

Savitri is a double orphan (a person without a living parent) born and brought up in Dadar. Blind since birth, Savitri's mother passed away when Savitri was about 2 or 3, and she doesn't quite know where her father went away after that, although she believes he passed away as well. She spent a large part of her early years living with her maternal relatives until they, too, broke contact with her. 

With help from friends and family Savitri did a Bachelor's in Social Work from Nirmala Niketan in south Mumbai. Over there she had a teacher named Anita Cherian with whose help she was able to do her projects and get her degree. For her Master's she went to TISS in Deonar. She talked at length about how inaccessible TISS was initially, and everything she had to do to get the staff and management over there to provide her the accommodations she needed. 

Since the past two years she's been pursuing a PhD from IIT Bombay. Her thesis subject is 'Citizenship access for orphans in India', and she has very recently submitted her final paper. She's now waiting to be allotted a viva slot, and during this time she's working as a research scholar at the institute, earning a stipend. 

Apparently IIT was way worse than TISS in terms of accommodations. First, she says, the campus is way bigger, making it difficult to move around. She stresses she had a lot of difficulty navigating daily life during the lockdown (and once again later when she was down with Covid during the third wave). Second - she found it very difficult to secure a guide at the beginning of her PhD owing to her disability. 

"Able-bodied mediocrity is preferred over disabled intelligence," she says. 

We finish lunch at Aroma's - by which time we're done with introductions - and come back to the IIT Campus. Savitri suggests we go to this place called Boathouse Road inside the campus. It's a long, empty stretch of tar road flanked by dense vegetation to the right and a cluster of mangroves off to the left. We figure it's best to do a walk-the-talk and so we shoot a quick sequence over there as well. 

It's a 15-minute piece where Aditi and Savitri discuss systemic ableism, disability politics, terminology, comorbidities, accessibility and agency, among other things, as Savitri holds Aditi by her arm, the both of them walking on the empty road. 

Good sequence to shoot, except it screwed up my back.

We come back to her room, and Savitri orders us some nice ginger tea. Waiting for the tea to arrive we speak about lots of other things including the movie we saw and how to make media more accessible for the visually impaired. 

Savitri tells us about a time when she wrote to Hrithik Roshan asking him to make his film Kaabil - in which he plays a visually impaired person - accessible to her through voice captions. She's also acted in a movie, which, unfortunately, never released. 

By this time we're quite exhausted, so we quickly finish our chai and leave.

The next two days we sit and go through all the footage from that day. We figure we need to necessarily incorporate three conversation points into our chats with disabled folk: 

1. Accessibility - their need for specific accommodations

2. Agency - access to information and taking charge of their narratives (autonomy)

3. Advocacy - finding allies and accessible platforms to speak about lived experiences 

So we went back today. The plan was to go to Powai Hiranandani, back to the same park. But Savitri wasn't feeling too well, so we wound up shooting in her hostel room. 

We did the 3A's. She spoke about her accessibility needs and also about accessibility overall - elevators, ramps, lifts with voices, etc. She said taking charge of your own narrative is important, and sometimes even friends and relatives deny you agency by deciding on your behalf - how long we should stay somewhere, where we should go out to eat, etc. And for advocacy she said she found a bunch of allies during her college years - including her teachers and some friends - who helped her both financially and also by equipping her to educate people about her needs. 

After our chat we shot a bunch of b-roll, for which we got her to use her laptop with JAWS on (the voice software). Also helped her fill out an employment application sent to her by Axis Bank where she's going to very soon start a part-time job. Told her about our upcoming shoot at Arpan Cafe in Juhu, and she said she wanted to come along, so we'll be taking her there this Tuesday. 

And ended the day with a plate of hot dosas and ginger chai from the hostel mess. Both were super yummy. 

More in her episode, out next Friday ✌🏾. 

Sunni Brown: Doodlers Unite!

Had a chat with K some days ago, and he recommended this Ted Talk to me. 

Finally got around to watching it today. Took this away:

There are 4 ways that people intake information so that they can make decisions

1. Visual

2. Auditory

3. Reading/ writing

        4. Kinesthetic

In order to chew on information and do something with it, we need to engage at least two of these or couple one with an emotion. 

Doodling engages all these modalities simultaneously along with an emotional experience. 

Going to be doodling a lot more in our pitch decks here on ahead.

Not that we don't already, just going to be doing it a lot more. Maybe in our content also?  

We Make Film & Kriti Film Club screening

Aditi and I keep talking about how we don't wind up spending a lot of time with people from the disabled community. Physical time, that is; online we're connected with a bunch of groups on WA & FB and have our own little community of 1.5K on IG (yay) so that's not an issue.

There's just something about physical interaction that online can never replicate.

And so when we got an invite for this documentary screening on disability and ableism in film, we both knew we had to go. Plus it was at SNDT Juhu, which has one of the greenest, lushest campuses in the city, so it became even more of a must-do kind of thing.

We got to the venue about 15 minutes into the screening of the first film, called We Make Film. It was an hour-long documentary on the lives of three disabled creatives - Debopriya from Kolkata (deaf graphic designer & illustrator), a Mumbai-based blind banker-photographer whose name I couldn't catch, and a deaf filmmaker from Kerala called Mijo Jose. 

Produced and directed by UK-based Indian filmmaker Shweta Ghosh, one of the most important issues We Make Film raises is the inherent ableism in filmmaking as a creative medium. So much of our equipment isn't disabled friendly, nor are our sets or the post production software we use. 

Nor is the medium, overall. Not to mention the industry itself, which can feel terribly gatekeepy at times. 

One blind filmmaker at the screening spoke about his experience dealing with film production executives. Most seemed to love his online applications, but denied him jobs when they met in person and realised he couldn't see. 

Aesthetic wise loved the long takes, the protracted interactions between Shweta's team and the creatives, the chemistry they built over the course of the shoot and the overall message, of course. 

Documentaries filmed over long periods of time show narrative evolution alongside a steadily growing maturity in thought process and story formation, which is the biggest draw of this kind of filmmaking.

I told Aditi we definitely must work on something more long-form alongside all the short-form, short term content we keep doing. I think we will start working on some ideas we already have.

The second film was a first-person account of the daily life of disabled, wheelchair user filmmaker Reid Davenport. Called 'I Didn't See You There', the film is a raw, riveting, visceral account of life as a wheelchair user in the modern world. 

Reid is brilliant in his use of sights, sounds and music to build tension in the way he experiences everyday life. The film is beautifully nuanced with both light and heavy moments, and shows emotions ranging all the way from lighthearted fun to serious annoyance and grief.

He uses his mobility gear and filmmaking equipment in cohesion - quite innovatively - sometimes holding the camera way close to the ground to depict how the grooves in paved streets make movement bumpy, and other times using his wheelchair as a grip device to prop his camera on.

Some shots this kind of setup affords are beautifully evocative of life as a disabled person, and that's the charm of this film.

Right after the screenings we did a chat with the filmmakers, where some useful thoughts were shared about ableism, inspiration porn and the right terminology to use when addressing disabled people. 

Some other learnings I want to put down in point format:

1. Industries that hire people with disabilities are happy.

2. The attrition rate in these industries is significantly lower.

3. Divyangjan (दिव्यंग्जन) - people with superpowers. Never to be used in the context of disabled people. Use Viklangjan (विकलांगजन) instead.

4. Abled and disabled people have the same problems. But the way we (the disabled) deal with those problems are different.

5. When the material resources of filmmaking and collaborative spirit are available to all, we all make films. 

6. Filmmaking is still very much ableist. Our industry, its people, its logistics, its politics, its social equations and functioning are still very, very inaccessible to disabled people.

Met and spoke to some of the filmmakers after the group discussion, including Prateek Vats, creator of Eeb Allay Ooo. Took down some of their numbers. We're going to shoot some stuff with a bunch of them maybe next month or so. So that bit is quite exciting.

Good day, all in all.

And finally, just want to end with this - 

Reid's film closed with the line: "But a cynical part of me wonders if I have joined the freak show." He says this as he looks at a circus tent, a place that upsets him because of its antiquated, offensive representation of disabled people. 

Looking around, can't help but agree with him. 

The Mind, Explained

Such a good show. 

I want to make such shows too. 

Sigh. 

Why don't we sometimes get what we want? 

Alag Hain Kam Nahi - episode 4

Had a pretty overwhelming call very recently with someone who might be associated with our business in a big way. 

So haven't even found the opportunity to post about the 4th episode. Slipped my mind, actually.

Anyway, Vir's episode is as honest as it gets. 

He was quiet, and getting him to open up was a bit challenging at first. But as the day wore on he unmasked gradually, and I guess that got him to open up. 

Wasn't expecting the episode to come out as well as it has. Quite happy with it given the circumstance and the noise around their apartment.

Composed two new tracks for this one. Forgetting now what I've called them, but I'll probably do IG uploads for both using the waveform creative on AE. 

Damn. 4 episodes down out of 6. 

2 more to go. Then on to the next one.

Here you go:

1st wedding anniversary!

One year to our shaadi.

And what a year it has been. 

On the personal front - changed two homes, did like 4-5 trips, kept Covid at bay. 

On the work front - did a business pivot, figured out our social media whitespace, read a bunch of amazing books and shared information with each other. 

Travelled a fair bit:

1. Kargil

2. Coorg

3. Mangalore (twice)

4. Bangalore

5. Indore

6. Karjat

7. Chennai

8. Goa

9. Mysore

Most important - figured out our neurotype, connected with our whanau and found inner peace in it. And helped out both sides of the family in whatever way we could. 

Couldn't be more grateful for everything we went through. 

Busy July

So it's been a damn busy month so far. 

Apart from releasing episodes on schedule and shooting regularly and doing daily social content, we've also been neck deep in personal work. 

Both dads came down, and within the past three days alone we have:

• Opened a new bank account for our company.
• Negotiated, closed and done the paperwork on one of our commercial properties that we give out on rent.
• Negotiated, closed and done the paperwork on a residential property we were helping a family friend out with. 
• Went to the marriage registrar's office and found out how to get our marriage registered. 

Needless to say it's been quite hectic. I have also finally paid for and scheduled some much needed health-related assessments that I had been meaning to for a while. 

In all of this, haven't been able to find time to exercise. I've also been eating a fair bit of junk, so that's got to stop. 

Anywho, looking forward to the weekend. Gonna do the following amazing things: 

• That Creative Direction course by that New York-based Creative Producer. 
• At least two Ableton sessions.
• Read Seducing Strangers.

The Neurodiver-gent 2

 

Meltdowns

Meltdowns are like the autistic mind's way of saying नीचे आजाओ भाई, कहाँ आसमान में उड रहे हो? 

For the past month or so we've been working almost nonstop. Brainstorming, meetings, shoots, edits... there's something literally every single day.

Even Sundays are work days. 

On Thursday night I had lots, as usual, planned for Friday. One grade session, one meeting, some hours of brainstorming. 

Woke up Friday, and I don't know what triggered it, but around 11 am it began. 

The best way to describe it is an empty sinking feeling, with a dense vaccum closing in around you as you're falling down through a vortex of your own dark thoughts. 

You go further and further down a bottomless pit, and a heavy darkness closes in on you, weighing on your soul. 

Couldn't eat, couldn't speak to anyone, didn't want to work, didn't want to think about it. Did three sessions of Headspace, and I was able to clear out my mind for a decent time. 

But even Headspace did nothing for the meltdown. 

Literally can't pinpoint what it was that made it happen. Someone else on the DR WhatsApp group I'm on also had one, and they asked for advice. Someone else described an experience freakishly similar to mine. 

So I guess it's fairly common. 

What they said they do to let it pass was also similar to me - basically lie down locked up in a room, and try to get as much rest as possible. 

No thinking about work, no watching or listening to anything even slightly overstimulating, and no social media for sure. Drinking lots of fluids, and eating healthy comfort food. 

I could barely even eat, though. Still had some brinjal bhaji and rotis. 

It's part of the wiring, I guess. It will come and go periodically. I need to work towards identifying it just as it sets in. 

And writing about it will maybe help me find a pattern in how often it recurs. 

Being part of a group is helpful. Just reassures me it's normal, and nothing to freak out about. 

The Neurodiver-gent

Doing a design course on Domestika. Also reading this book called 'The Back of the Napkin' by Dan Roam, cuz I've developed this keen interest in sketching and visual thinking of late. Mostly since the time Spectrum started. 

Basically the team's been trying to figure out ways to express their ideas better.

So was doodling on the tablet the other day, and suddenly the mind threw up this cartoon. Calling it the Neurodiver-gent. Made like five of these at one go. Uploaded the first one two days ago on IG. 

Didn't work too well over there, unfortunately, so don't know about the future of this piece of art. 

Come to think of it, brainstorming, working on and releasing new IPs and IG post formats is so similar to making and releasing movies. 

Like you think of this idea, start writing it and it turns out to become this gripping script. You get the best stars on board, you raise money and make it at a budget that works out. Then you put it out... to empty cinema halls. 

That's kind of what releasing this IP felt like. With AHKN there's a whole community behind the video, so it's going to get pushed around and shared within those circles at least. But with new IPs that's so hard to do.

So when this one hardly got any interaction (compared to our other stuff), I was kind of disappointed. But who cares - whatever doesn't go there goes here, so more for you guys to see! 

You guys as in my (probably) one or two stray readers. Lol. 

Here you go - 

Social robotics and neurodiversity

Social robotics is the use of technology and AI to assist cognition in neurodiverse individuals. 

It includes but is not limited to the use of machines and robots to facilitate day-to-day living in a way that best suits the ND person. It underlies the belief that altruistic human-robot interactions can lead to a more inclusive society. 

Also, in a time when human interactions are becoming lesser and lesser, and more and more adults around the world are choosing to live by themselves, this could be a more pragmatic way to offer accessibility-related help to NDs. 

It doesn't only include robotics, though. It's pretty much an umbrella term for technology that's adapted to suit neurodivergent needs and is responsive to their sensory sensitivities and alt-cognitive minds. Includes movie theatres fitted with equipment that plays sound at reduced volumes and dims bright lighting, and also quiet spaces at sports stadiums or concert venues. 

The phrase that goes with it is 'designing for diversity', which I quite like. Might use it somewhere. 

Last - aesthetics and personalization remain the two most crucial facets linked to the design of social robotics. It's not just utilitarian; it seeks to aid in preserving the human aspect of humanity.

On a separate note - love how non-fatalist this approach is towards robotics and technology as a whole. Quite in contrast to the deathly sci-fi version of events where evil robots take over and kill humans. 

Imagine having a robot puppy that goes against its machine-instincts of always putting his tasks before emotions. And starts to develop a deep attachment towards its old master, who dies very soon. Then the robot dog mourns for a bit, and ends up finding a pack of strays in a nearby street and starts living with them. 

Would be a nice antidote to that dreary, dystopian Black Mirror episode.

Anyway, love how Australia and New Zealand are so ahead of other countries in their work on neurodiversity.

Read here. 

AHKN - Chats (Seema & Anupam: part 1)

In this episode, Seema Jain and Anupam Tiwari - parents to Nehal Tiwari - speak about the benefits of early intervention. 

Nehal's had the benefit of receiving occupational and speech therapy right from an early age. Plus the early diagnosis itself helped. 

Here's the episode, released this morning.

Monday mindfucks

Why are Mondays singularly so fuck all? 

Did God curse Monday? 

"Thou shalt be the day right after the day of Sabbath, whenst everyone will go back to work, and thou will make them wallow in self-doubt and self-pity."

"Thou shalt bring out the worst side to everyone."

"Thou shalt make everyone question their career decisions."

"Thou shalt make even the best movie, show or music video seem dull and dreary."

"Thou shalt make the best mind a labyrinthine mess from which even the most basic thought shalt not flow forth cohesively." 

"This is what thou shalt resemble - "

 

Gen Z comedy show

 

Our new drawing tablet

So a couple of weeks ago I was speaking to a friend about his graphics work, which he's amazing at. I said we were looking to start doing some original graphics.

He recommended getting a drawing tablet, which, strangely, I had never considered before. So anyway, same evening I ordered one for the studio, and it got delivered the next morning. Just as we were leaving for a shoot. 

So I bought this simple software off of App Store, and set up the tablet with it. 

It's a thing of beauty, to say the least. 

Takes about a couple of hours to get used to doing things with it. But then things become so much easier. And it's a beautiful stim too, cuz the feeling of running that pen over the tab is just so smooth. 

Both Aditi and I keep playing around with it, but only when it's not being used by the team for work. 

I love it, and I'm going to upload random designs I make using the thing way more often. I've also bought a book on design, so gonna read it and improve my visual thinking skills. 

Goddamn, so excited. 

Releasing our first comic strip-type thingy tomorrow on MM Spectrum Instagram. Which has almost crossed 1K followers in 2 months. 

Almost. 

Ok so here's something random - 

Alag Hain Kam Nahi - episode 3

Released the Nehal Tiwari episode of Alag Hain Kam Nahi.

Once again, pretty kicked about how it came out. Tbh, at one point during the edit we thought we didn't have as tight a story as we had imagined. 

I don't know why this happens. Maybe it's because I tend to hold previous work to a certain standard from which I don't want to come down. There's always that lingering fear of people thinking they've lost it. 

They had it for a bit, then they lost it. 

I think that's one of the worst things someone can feel about your work.

So there's the pressure of making sure the takeaway with each episode is high. 

On a separate note, listening to some random Lo-fi playlist in the studio while writing this. The artist has used the sound of crickets in this particular song, and it brings a nice chill vibe. Should experiment with that.

Anyway, back to Nehal's episode. 

So we managed to tell a decent story. Managed to make her feel comfortable opening up about herself, so that was a big win. 

The episode got some very good comments too. 500+ organic views in a day, which is almost on par with the 2nd episode. 

For the 5th and 6th episode we're looking to interview another woman/ girl and a neuroqueer person. Been tough to find one here in Mumbai, so maybe we'll have to travel for the last one. Donno. Open to it, though.

Separate note - went to Art Sanctuary today, which is an arts event organized by special needs parents for special needs children. India wide event, the Mumbai leg happened at St Xaviers.

Was quite overwhelming at first, but then slowly I eased in. Still so uncomfortable doing event videography (although I wasn't even like the official videographer or anything). 

Just not too comfortable with eyes on me, and in event videography you kind of have to be immune to that. 

Also- most important: ND events need to be designed to suit ND needs. Going to make a separate post on that. 

For now - it's Nehal episode. Here you go: