30th October '21.
The day Much Much delivers a studio shot production that I'm so proud of. A film for which we built a set from scratch, made a bunch of kickass props, and got 9 young actors to act over 2 hectic days.
The whole thing started on October 7 with a phone call from an old acquaintance when I was in Bengaluru for my cousin's wedding. And today, October 30, it's over already.
23 days. A mental health rollercoaster.
In these 23 days, I've had at least 3 sleepless nights. Nights when I thought everyone was out to get me. That doing this was such a big mistake. That I'm only good for the outdoor, travel, factual shoots and nothing more.
I've had at least 2 panic attacks. Times when crew told me they wouldn't be able to wrap on time, when the set wasn't ready on time on Day 1, when the footage wasn't copying on our HDDs, when one of the actors demanded extra pay for a shift running half-an-hour over time.
I've felt lonely. Felt like it'd be nice to have a production partner. Someone to offload some stress to. Someone to rely on.
I've felt disrespected. Like cast and crew sometimes don't give a s*** about what the producer is going through. Like everyone's so self-absorbed all the time they don't even pause to consider what a producer undergoes to put all this up.
That being a producer is a thankless job. And the money she makes in exchange for it is her only redemption for doing the project in the first place.
You've basically got to be cool and composed. You can't stress a lot. Which is not to say I didn't. I was quite tense throughout, as set BTS pictures will tell you. Having a good team is important. These clients were a decent bunch of people. No ridiculous demands. No bad behaviour.
A lot of good things happened too.
Working with the director and DOP was a great experience. Learnt a lot from the both of them.
Put up an f-ing set for the first time. And the client kept coming up and saying the art is just kickass. So that was a total win.
I mean who'd have thought Much Much would do their first studio shoot in October '21? Long overdue? I guess not. Unexpected? Perhaps.
I'm so comfortable with the shoots I do currently. Apart from client servicing I can do each aspect of the pipeline pretty well myself. So this was a big challenge, to offload a bunch of the processes to other experts.
The art team were a revelation. Disorganised, but talented and hardworking. The attention to detail was there, and the client noticed and appreciated it.
What's disconcerting is that people don't trust you very easily. Everyone wants their money upfront. Studio guys, the casting agency, the art department, the post team... everyone except key crew. Don't know what to make of that.
But F it. I did my first big shoot. For me, it wasn't about the money, it was about the experience, as cliche as it might sound. It really wasn't.
Am I happy with the outcome?
Yes. As a video it's the best f-ing version of the script it can be.
Because I for sure didn't compromise on even the tiniest detail. Everything was looked into and taken care of and spent decent money on.
I did not scrounge. 'Cuz I'm not a bad producer.
I took care of my crew. I paid everyone on time, and paid everyone their due and more.
Anyway, I'm always less happy than I should be with the final outcome of every project. I don't know why that is the case. Maybe it'll change. Maybe the fact that I'm unhappy with it means the video's objectively decent. Maybe it's because I'm a "perfectionist" (though I'm not sure I even know what that word means anymore).
Until I watch my work like 5 months later. Then I find them all right. So weird.
Strange feeling.
Watch the video -
Edit: The video trended upon its release on Dec 7 '21, and the client was super happy with the way the project has turned out. All in all, good feeling :).
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