be yourself

(conversation in a Bangalore cab)

what to do about this social media bro?

as in?

as in, what to post macha?

post your thoughts da, just be yourself.

myself meaning what da?

meaning yourself. who you are.

it's ever-changing da. i'm not a robot. different situations i like different things. this "be yourself" business is the biggest pseudo. and how to operate within the framework of these platforms and still "be yourself?" like this character limit, no possibility of vocal intonation, this mirage of spontaneity? raj my cousin works in a talent agency, he says all these stars they'll post something like they're super happy, and then they come to office fully bitter and miserable, like any of us.

yeah, that's quite possible. i mean, they're humans after all.

i'm telling you what this is doing. this is the system da, it's trying to pigeonhole everyone. it's putting us in boxes so that it's easy to put stickers on us... like for example, you: this is sathish ranjan, he likes to dance, prefers chocolate pastry, drinks single malt and supports Man U. this is the system's understanding of you da. say tomorrow you decide that you like Tottenhams (Tottenham), or that you like Monkey Shoulder rum. they're not going to accept that change da. and they're not going to let you believe that for yourself either.

what? why?

because they're compartmentalising you to be able to sell you this very shit, to make you this "cool" version of you that you believe.

sell me what shit da?

shit they want you to buy with your hard earned money, which goes back into keeping the system running.

dei, listen, all this Matrix shit is good in the movies. but this is the real life. you can't have one foot in the system because it's convenient, and kick it with the other foot because you find it "fake". everyone you know - literally everyone da - has been or is part of the system. i don't know about better, but it's just a safer, more tried-and-tested way of life. no rude surprises, no crazy ups and downs. you do what everyone else is doing, and everyone's happy.

okay.

and what hard earned money? you call this hard earned? two metro constructions we just crossed on our way here, those workers live on the streets in small jhopdis with their families of four and five, earning 200-300 rupees a day. that's hard earned. you and me, we wave around our B Tech degrees and companies line up to hire us. we go to an airconditioned office in an airconditioned taxi, take an airconditioned lift up to the first floor, sit on soft chairs then complain about back pain, take hour-long breaks, eat microwaved lunch in an airconditioned cafeteria, wrap up at 5 and go back to our airconditioned flats. and on weekends to pubs and clubs where we'll sit and put drinks with friends, all to pass the time. this is also all part of the system da. this airconditioned system only makes us cool (laughter).

no man, we have our own fights (typing). 

are you posting? what are you writing?

this only, what i'm feeling right now.

what is that?

i'm feeling like reducing my participation in this system. i'm feeling like deleting this app. so... just posting about it.

what? show me. 

one sec... and done. here.

"goodbye, guys. nice knowing you all" with a sad face and palm waving emoji. wow. 

yeah, sad emoji because goodbyes are sad. and the palm waving is just bye bye. that's how i wave goodbye.

yeah i get it macha, but this sounds like you're...

(lots of message pings)

oh my, that's getting some... what you call it da... tractor... traction. oh, first comment... 'you don't need to do this'... what the... aiyo... aye sathish da, people are thinking that i'm... oh god.

yeah, see. and it's the system telling you not to. it's being supportive, no macha? 

i don't know da... (phone rings) hi, hi darling. no no, no di, don't be silly. yeah, i was just... being myself di. yeah yeah, i'm already over it, don't worry. yeah, completely back to normal. just reached office... i'll see you in the evening, ok? we'll go watch that new film... that one... (fades out)