Film festival selection

One of our films - Dating, Puberty and Romance as an Autistic - has been selected for screening at this indie film festival in Berlin, Germany. 

The BMM me would be ecstatic. Not that I'm not happy with this piece of news now, but back then I was all about the indie vibe. Niche, small things appealed to me so much more than big, mainstream, media-laden stuff (like Cannes). 

I'm still very stoked though. The best part - we didn't even enter. Someone from the festival saw the film online and wrote to us saying they loved it and want to screen it. 

Super kicked for Aditi - this is her 2nd branded project and it's already being noticed by festivals. To top it off, this is a German festival, so for them to screen an English film with bits of Hindi thrown in is a big deal. 

Been trying to rally some press around it, but it's all so confusing and difficult. And it's ironic too, considering I have a long history in this exact profession. But I guess that's just how things are. 

On a separate note, I almost lost the middle and ring fingers on my left hand two weeks ago. I was doing something and my hands went up, and I didn't realize the ceiling fan was on at full speed. 

There was a loud smack, and I swear for a second I thought my fingers had come off and slammed against the office wall. The team was shocked. The wound was immediately tended to by way of generous amounts of gauze and Dettol. Hurt a lot, though. 

So yes, that's how May has been. Apart from business as usual. 

Jamz

Yesterday, Aditi and I took the day off and chilled at home. We had a tough last week work wise, and wanted to cool off and watch some Mad Men and drink some shandy (our new fave drink). 

Randomly UT called around 4 - 4:30 and asked what I was up to. "Nothing," I said. 

"Great. Let's jam?" he said. 

It's been like a decade since I jammed. I've played some DJ gigs, done B2Bs with some folx, but haven't done a jam since 2009 (or maybe earlier) I guess. 

And so, naturally, I said no. 

But UT was persistent. He figured out three jam rooms - one in Andheri, another in Andheri East, and another in Powai - in the span of three minutes. Then he called me -

"Bad luck, bro.," he said. "The Powai one is available. And I've booked it from 7 to 10. So we'll have to go." 

So I packed my MacBook, the small Akai MIDI keyboard, a pair of headphones, and my HDD, and set off. 

It was a pretty nice space, very cozy and all. The engineer turned out to be an old friend, and was happy to see us. He set us up in about 5 minutes, and left the space to go to another office they have nearby. 

UT and AM (another friend) played guitar. I created and played loops off of Ableton, which was damn good fun. 

We did a couple of 20 to 30-min free flowing jams in Dm and CMaj. I did mostly hip-hop and LoFi loops, and threw in some bass and pads here and there. 

The engineer even let us have beers while we jammed. Good fun. 

We got out around 10 and went to a nearby place for more beers. 

So, yes. Jammed after almost a decade and felt damn good. 

That's it, that's the post. 

And also that we all enjoyed ourselves, and might make these Sunday jams a thing. And if we do, I'm going to start recording them and putting them up on my YouTube channel. 

Then we might perform somewhere very soon. 

Which is going to be epic. 

Mad Men and House of Cards

1. Men are only respected and stand to move up the social and work hierarchy when they put a lid on their feelings. 

2. The more high-stress the scenario the calmer and more put-together men are expected to be. 

3. Not every bit of repartee merits a reply. In most cases, measured silence speaks way louder than words. 

4. Stress, poor mental health, vulnerability, rest, switching off from work - terms that are way detached from the 'masculinity' lexicon. 

5. Lies, manipulation, deceit, the 'eat or be eaten' mentality - general emotions, thoughts and feelings that drive men's behaviours and attitudes. 

6. There is no objective reality or morality; reality and morality are meant to be bent and twisted to prop up your ambitions and desires. They're like Play Doh. 

7. Anyone can be sold on anything if you know their strengths, weaknesses and desires. 

8. Most of life is stern dealmaking. You need something, I have it - I need something, you have it. Give and take. 

9. You don't deserve anything. If you think you do, a) you're mistaken. b) You're going to have to put up a fight to get it. c) In doing so, you risk making enemies out of friends, mentors and bosses. d) Now you have it, and you're one rung up in the hierarchy, but at what cost? You're more alone than ever. 

10. Successful life is lonely. Conventionally successful life, of course. You may have your own definition of success. 

11. Money and fear are the two huge motivators that cut across class, caste, religion, neurotype, race, etc. 

12. The more money there is in any equation, the less the relationship matters. 

13. Always tell people what they like to hear. 

14. With every step up in the hierarchy you'll think the fight to remain there gets easier. You'll learn it's the exact opposite. The fewer the competitors the more intense the competition. 

15. Privilege is an inherent part of life. Life is inherently unfair. The sooner you accept that the less you'll beat yourself up for not being in your 'ideal' circumstances. 

16. Everyone, literally everyone, has some challenges. Everyone has some strengths. Some strengths naturally lend themselves to better financial outcomes for people, some don't. That doesn't mean everyone can't earn big money. You just have to really do some granular thinking and figure stuff out. 

(will keep adding to this list)

DD chicken biryani Yunogu edition

Kalpesh drives us through some woods and narrow roads into a village in a maruti 800. His parents have set up a barbecue for a party in front of a big property. Kalpesh tries to manouever the car around some open ditches but it's difficult. 

We're sitting on the roof and having some delicious chicken biryani. Me and Kalpesh finish the big vessel and eat the remaining pieces of meat and rice. Later Abhinav, Deneb, Utsav and a couple more of us are in a room on a small hillock overlooking the area downstairs. We're laughing about some previous incident where we used an app called Yunogu for a fake phone call. I ask why we always get into some mischief but I ask it very fast so no one responds. Deneb pulls out his phone and shows us the app and everyone laughs. 

Abhinav sits on a photocopier in the room and does somersaults, touching his ass to the ceiling. Everyone laughs. Just then someone from below comes up the hillock and we realise everyone has left already so we are rushing back down. 

Ear infection, meltdowns, caffeine break and meetings

One morning, Aditi woke up with a bad earache. We tried to sleep it off, but it just wouldn't go. Made an appointment with an ENT - dad's old friend - and five minutes into the diagnosis he said it was an ear infection. Prescribed some meds, drops and antibiotics. 

We bought the meds and walked around for a while. It was super hot. Earlier that day it had rained. But now it was sunny. The sun had been giving us meltdowns for about a week now. Earlier we didn't know what the meltdowns were due to. But Aditi spoke to someone and they said they frequently had meltdowns due to the heat, and so we concluded that's what our meltdowns must be due to. 

Back to back meltdowns are the worst. You're just about recovering from one when a random incident will make you plunge straight into another. There's hardly anything you can do about it. On a separate note, we got earmuffs from 3M, the real sturdy -30dB kind. I now use foam earplugs AND the earmuffs, and the result is pretty damn awesome. It's great to use while falling asleep too, and I do use it sometimes when I get a chance to nap during the afternoon. 

I also stopped drinking coffee (again) last week. Much needed. Switched over to green tea. The anxiety is way more in control. Have amped up the runs, too (did about 65K last month). Overall, green tea helps keep the anxiety attacks in check. But I did take a Rexipra right before a meeting last week. It was (kind of) an important meeting, and I wanted to be sure I didn't mess it up. Taking a Rexipra relaxes me and helps me stick to scripts more naturally. 

We crossed 25K on IG yesterday or two days ago. The team ordered pizza and beer. It was a nice feeling, going from 0 to 25K in a year and meeting so many amazing folx and creating so much content with all of them.