Safe space

There is no past. There is no future. They're both an illusion.

All there is is a place of quiet confidence beyond thinking and feeling.

That's your safe space. That's where you belong. 

No sleep

A product of my nostalgia, which just won't go: 

AALAP · no sleep

Sitting in my Versova home, all by myself, making these all night long. What times.

Bhagvad Gita // Gandhi

Just got done reading the Bhagavad Gita as written by Gandhiji. Made a note of the things that stuck: 

1. Don't worry about the fruit; keep doing your work all day every day. 

2. Figure out your duty. That's what you need to keep on doing without any distraction.

3. Live a detached existence. Even in charity, be detached. 

4. Violence is not an option. God will humble those who feel the need to express themselves violently. If someone has hurt you, pray/ meditate on it. What needs to happen will be willed into happening. 

5. Silence is golden when there are no answers.

6. Personal God vs The Unmanifest.

7. Sattva / Rajas / Tamas - three states. Up to each man which state he desires and chooses to be in. 

8. Caste determines karma. Likewise, a person should have in him characteristics of all castes. The characteristics he possesses the most will eventually determine his actual caste, not the one he's born in. 

9. True success falls upon he who treats his karma, his duty, as a form of prayer and performs it religiously. (Basically, if writing/ music/ filmmaking are your duties, do them in a way that while doing them you consider yourself praying to the higher Gods.) 

Change with me

Felt like making something on change. Calling it this. 

Everyone's changing. Be good to have a change companion.

Also, (late) older bro's birthday today. Thinking about him. 

Listen:

AALAP · Change With Me

Spotify birthday present!

It's the lockdown. 

Mom and dad have moved. Girlfriend is in her hometown. Friends are either all away, or sick from Covid.

So I thought why not gift myself something cool this birthday.

I had a (nice) track ready, and I was like come, let's submit this to Spotify and see what comes of it. 

Good only came of it. It got accepted (don't know if that's how it works, but I'd like to believe it is), and just today they took it live. 

Was telling Shravan and Vipul about this just some days ago! They did wind up coming home, though, so it turned out not to be a totally lonely birthday after all. Good times were had. Shravan drank quite a lot more than usual (his usual, to begin with, is quite a lot more than many people's) and woke up with a bad stomach ache. 

Anyway, the song made it go away. Ok it did not, but it will make all your troubles seem very small. 

Listen on high-quality Spotify, not stupid compressed Soundcloud.

PS: cover art is a pic girlfriend took of me while we were shooting in Indore :). I made it 3D to make it look cool but it came out all weird.

Lonely birthday to you...

Being lonely in a nation of almost a billion people. A billion.

Cruel irony. 

I mean, you really have to have messed up big time. I mean we're the second most populous country in the world, soon to be first. 

What was it, though? 

One of two things, as always. You, or other people. 

Either you had it all wrong, or people at large just didn't care anymore. It could be the other way round too. Maybe you stopped caring, and everyone else had it all wrong. 

But that didn't really add up. Because if it did, they'd be having these thoughts, and you'd be out there doing what they do.

But here you are, on your 35th birthday, sitting in this empty living room with a butter knife in one hand, staring at this big, beautiful round cake kept on the centre table. With swirly white icing, and nougat, and cream and nuts and choco chips. 

One kilo minimum. Homemade. Baked with love by an overweight middle-aged housewife one afternoon while her overweight children were in office and overweight husband at his financial consultancy or law firm. 

Made with high expectations. Expectations of more orders, of favourable feedback and raving reviews on social media. 

"If you like it, please like our page and tag us at such and such." 

Fucking social media. 

They say loneliness is the best partner. 

Yeah well, how do you take selfies with him? 

Or her. Or however they identify. 

Last known address

Parents are leaving one home for another home. 

Wanted to do a quick tour of the building compound. Have spent close to three decades of my life wandering these areas, chilling with friends all day during vacations and all evening through school days, playing cricket all the time, learning how to cycle, climb walls, jump off them. 

Have learnt overarm bowling, batting, football, skating, running... everything over here... played countless games of stop palti... played holi, celebrated diwali, dandiya, and lost badminton tournaments. 

Made so many best friends. So many others from different places came over - school, junior college, grad college, office, dance class, calligraphy class, Rotary, tuition class... so many tuition teachers, relatives, random people, even celebrities(!). 

Place seemed much bigger earlier, but got smaller as I got bigger. 

Made me think - if social media didn't exist, perhaps the only way to trace someone back would be to go to their last known address, right?  

Anyway, goodbye childhood home. For now. 

There used to be a Sintex tank here, where we played.

Overarm cricket pitch one, batsman's view

Remember lighting fuljhadis here one Diwali

7 pm meeting point after getting done with the day's play

Neighbouring building compound

Bench where all the old people sat

Me and papa

Sometimes in the summer, we played cricket here

Backside of the building, for box cricket

Underarm pitch one, batsman's viewpoint

I am God's lonely child

De Niro in Taxi Driver

There's a shit load of anger brewing inside a person who finds himself lonely. It probably comes from a sense of feeling discarded by society. Or maybe his own ineptitude to make genuine good connections with people. That's what is so beautiful about the movie. His social awkwardness. His inability to be a seducer. Taking a girl you just met to a C grade film by accident. Hating yourself for the stupid shit you do. Talking to yourself in the mirror. Imagining yourself with guns, lots of guns. Lots of shooting random assholes, lots of scenarios where you pull up a firearm on an unsuspecting bastard trying to screw with you and pump bullets into his shady ass. Pride. She offers him money at the end of their last cab ride and he drives away. Savings. Being lonely sure makes you save a lot of money. Insomnia - the absolute hallmark characteristic of a lonely person. No sleep. Watches porn in cinema halls to while his time until the next morning. Thoughts of self harm. Fidgeting with the furnishings, electronics especially. Anger and distress when something breaks/ malfunctions. 

Most important - the craving to do good by society in spite of it all, in spite of himself. Self-preservation as an instinct rising above all else. Travis tries to kill the minister but fears getting caught and so runs away to the brothel instead where he wants to save Iris from the mafiosi and her pimp. So he kills them both, and finally does become a hero. That's his redemption. A simple taxi driver's redemption. He's no big shot, he's a simpleton. He's got no big ambitions, no grand goals. He's got a simple idea of life, of love, of death, everything. He becomes a hero to Iris' parents and that's all he needs. To be a hero to somebody. So what if he couldn't be a hero to Iris who herself had grand political ambitions. He becomes Iris' grand saviour. Pins up her parents' letter on his walls. Goes right back to his normal life. 

Writes a journal chronicling his taxi driver thoughts. Very introspective. Very self-aware for a taxi driver. A guy who isn't very highly educated but means well. Alluding perhaps to smart people who for whatever reason are living lower lives than they ought/ deserve to. There's such a huge chunk of them in this world. Or maybe it's just a state of mind from which some people are unable to come out. In which case the movie is brilliant. Ah, it's brilliant anyway. It's a phase in life during which your state of mind is like the taxi driver's. Some people get over it clean, others feel the need to do things to become heroes.

13 things to prepare you for directing short format factuals

Putting down some learnings from my (now decent) experience doing factuals, all the way from my Vh1 and MTV times to the Jawa and Instagram projects. 

This is part one of two: in the second post I'll talk specifically about the production side of things for non-fiction content. 

1. Narrative - This might seem counterintuitive considering a scripted narrative would defeat the purpose of the format. But in this context, a narrative is more of an arc, an ebb and flow of emotion, a build-up and release of tension that augments the story and keeps it engaging. Music work helps tremendously in getting a better understanding of this device. 

2. Ethos - Brand values, ideals, ethics... a marketing guide. Often filmmakers don't know what creative direction to take with a story that is compelling but will need a certain kind of treatment before a brand wants to associate with it. I like to present a breakdown of all the potential routes and discuss what kinds of reactions each might elicit. Then it's about drawing a middle-ground between what's best and what sells. 

3. Referencing - Take time out and do this right. Find a balance between what works and what looks cool. Go to obscure sites, watch old films and new, and find frames that tell stories by themselves. Vimeo will help you, but half the world's filmmakers also use it, so your deck won't be any different (unless that is what the client is looking for). I like to go for frames that will be a challenge to shoot. It's fun to push yourself. 

4. Recce - Extremely critical, though not always possible. But whenever it is, insist on doing one. It'll help the DPs and the sound unit in determining interview angles, the path of the sun, ambient sound levels, etc. Make copious notes, and try and make mental images of what your scenes will look like. This will save you a lot of time and energy on shoot day. 

5. Vibe - In fiction, the director tells the actor how to become the character. In non-fic, the director creates an atmosphere that turns the subject into the most authentic version of themselves. This is important, especially in projects that explore deeply personal stories and experiences, and a certain vulnerability is paramount. 

6. Moments - All filmmaking is about moments. In fiction, you'll do retakes until you get your actors to deliver those moments as beautifully as possible. In non-fiction you don't have as much liberty with retakes, so don't hesitate to keep your cameras and audio rolling until the full story is out. Intuit when the subject has more of substance to say, and when they're done. 

7. Triggers - Sharing experiences is triggering. If you sense that your subject is having a hard time speaking about something, don't be afraid to cut. Remember - humanity first. Walk up to them, break up the unit for a bit, and go for short walk. Talk about something else or hold space to listen. Lightening up the mood might not be easy, but take it one moment at a time and ease them back in, only if you sense it okay to do so. 

8. Flexibility - A run & gun unit should function as one. If you're not wrapped and ready to bolt for another location within 10 minutes tops of finishing one location, you've got too much equipment at hand or a slow crew. Two cameras, a portable gimbal, tripod, monopod, boom mic, portable mixer and a couple of LEDs & reflectors are all I like to carry. Eight times out of 10 it's more than I need. 

9. Endgame - Having a mental image of the final product during shoot is helpful, but might pigeonhole you into shooting only what the brand wants. I find that with profiles, crisscrossing a bit and shaking up the vibe every now and then makes things interesting. Also, do long interviews instead of short ones, and do multiple takes of important call-outs because later takes are always way better than first ones. 

10. Point - A majority of people not used to being interviewed on camera will be hesitant to speak at first, then overshare when they find their footing. Ensure that it's neither of these extremes, and that the storytelling - however grave the story - is balanced. Every now and then, at the risk of breaking their flow, chime in with a very gentle: "okay, so coming back to the point..." 

11. Style - Also known as mood/ vibe shots/ cutaways. Footage that provides a visual break from piece-to-camera. You'll have the interview and prep time to figure out the emotional arc of the story, and consequently your b-roll. Nine times out of 10, let the b-roll complement the talkie. But every once in a while go experimental. Play around with shot design - composition, frame rate, exposure, technique - and find a style.

12. Audio - Music selection takes time and effort. I let the platform and brand ethos dictate my musical choices. I've worked with music libraries and composers, and both work out depending on what you're looking for. What indubitable is that re-recording, design & foley, and mix can really help lift the mood of the soundtrack. 

13. Deliveries - Make edits crisp, because keeping your audience engaged is a big challenge. As much as factuals are about information, no one sticks around long enough to watch a boring film. Make it entertaining, and use build up and release smartly. Needless to say, make hi-res deliveries. If re-framing vertically for IG, make sure the essence of the frame is not lost. A good grade and mastering artist will make or break your film. 

The beauty of non-fic is its unpredictability - you go in wanting a certain story, you come out with 2 or 3 (sometimes better ones). Sometimes you discover a new way of telling the same story on edit. You might have to shoot patchwork sequences to bring a proper closure to certain arcs. You might have to fit something in a day prior or later than scheduled if a subject is delayed. 

From harsh weather and bad health to transport issues and scheduling conflicts, be prepared for anything. If on a tight budget or on an outdoor schedule, it might be unfeasible to do a second round of interviews, but definitely consider it if you have the opportunity. This adds layers to what might otherwise potentially remain a thin narrative. 

Most important - have fun! Not everyone gets the chance to travel, speak to people and shoot beautiful scenes while getting paid for it. It's a big privilege, so use it wisely. 

Mandir Masjid

First heard it in like the 9th grade. 

Papa got home this cassette from Music Mania that had a collection of Ganpati chants. All the songs were sung by Uma Mohan. It was called Ganpati Mool Mantra. 

I loved it so much, I'd kind of made up my mind back then only that I would someday do something with this song. 

What better time than the lockdown. 

So I kept my H6 handy recorder in the Versova home balcony for about 2 hours one evening. Got a decent amount of the evening azaan, along with some random motorcycle sounds and all. Isolated the sounds I wanted and cleaned it up using some nice plugins.

Put the azaan together with this Ganpati mool mantra and it sounded damn neat. Also made a political point just by the by. Took some Gandhi speech sounds off the Internet, one where he was talking about going to Mysore, and added it because what doesn't sound better with speech vocals, right? 

This was the final result. I'm pretty proud of it, tbh. One day's work. 

AALAP · Mandir Masjid

Dads Hate Remixes - Edition 1

My dad never really liked remixes. That's actually way of an understatement, he hated them with a passion. The 90s and early 2000s saw a bunch of DJs coming up in the Bollywood music scene, and the best way to break out was to remix songs that were already popular and lent themselves easily to remixing. 

Clubs were becoming mainstream, radio stations were beginning to proliferate, and these songs invariably found their way over there, and the DJs who had made them became popular almost overnight. 

So anyway, it's the lockdown and I don't particularly have much going on. Apart from this one work project that requires extensive travel, and so is pretty much cancelled for the time being. I'm in my cozy Versova apartment all by myself, and the closest friend is one boat ride away on Madh Island (and the ferries are shut for now), so can't meet anyone either. 

Sitting in my living room I figure out the best way to spend my time is make one remix every evening. I'm reading all these blogs and watching videos of SoundCloud artists putting all these restrictions on themselves in order to fuel their creativity. Because with the giant blank slate of a new project on the DAW staring back at you, there's so many possibilities that there's none at all. 

So my thing is - 

1. I'll take one popular song from the 70s, 80s or 90s.

2. I'll remix it in one evening. 

And because I'm quite bad at taxonomy, and I miss my dad, I'll call the thing Dads Hate Remixes. Kind of like an ode to my dad, and how much he would hate these. 

Well, turns out he didn't. Not because I'd made them, but he genuinely liked a few tunes from these. 

Enjoyed making these. Might do a few more if they take off.  

So anyway, here's the first edition of Dads Hate Remixes. I hope you like it. 

And if you don't, show it to you dad. Maybe he would. 

AALAP · dads hate remixes

Travel

Airports. Hurried travel. Check-ins, checkouts, security checks, check shirts. Flaring tempers, cold sweats, flight anxiety, long queues, body scans. 

Lost sleep, on-repeat playlists, lost and found appetites, questionable food. 

Midflight turbulence. 

Blurry dreams, strange faces, dark circles. Pointless Insta stories, attention-seeking behaviour, fake laughter, real tears. 

Midlife turbulence. Ennui. 

The constant worry that you're not doing enough. Not earning enough. Not eating the right things, not looking good enough, not saying the right things. Not hanging out with the right people. Not enough Internet strangers to seek approval from. The numbers game. 

Likes preferred over love. 

But these are just ramblings. Of a once-creative mind now teetering on the edge of obsolescence. An arrogant mind and an unhealthy body supercharged by the troika of modern society toxicity - junk food, alcohol, and passive aggressive parenting. 

DING. CHARACTER WAKES UP, GROGGY AND EYES RED. 

Hashtag First Rule: you do not talk about it. 

But seriously, I have zero recollection of where I'm going. 

I remember we're in a group, we're going around the country trying to spread happiness and cheer. To create safe spaces for young adults, and hear them out as they talk about their problems. 

This has to be the experience of a lifetime. 

Think about it: how many people get a chance to travel across their country, speak to people, uncover real stories, and chronicle them on film? 

Some luck this. 

The release of Ibex Trail

Last August, I travelled to Ladakh to shoot a factual web series for the motorcycle brand Jawa. Not only was it their first series, it was mine too. And so while the nervousness at both ends was palpable, thankfully the chemistry was good right off the cuff. Basically, things went off well. 

Through the months of September and October we edited the series and presented five episodes to the brand - 

Watch all of them below. 

The series was initially going to be released in November. When that didn't happen, I thought they'd release it in December. And when that didn't happen either, I got a little scared. There was no word from them on the release date, and I thought maybe they had decided - for whatever reason - to shelve it. 

First week of January, 2020 the brand manager booked us for the FRM shoot at Camp Max, Karjat. Over there he told me that they had decided to release it on Republic Day. Not only that, they were setting up a giant screen in the amphitheatre at Camp Max, and the films would be shown over there in front of all the riders. 

Kind of caught me off guard. But I was excited. 

On Jan 26th, the day before yesterday, we got done with the shoot around 8 pm. We came back to our tents, freshened up, and assembled around the amphitheatre. Met with some of the riders featured on the series, including Vir Nakai, Varad 'Speedy' More, Candida Louis, Harshman Rai and a few others. 

Around 9 pm some performances started, and Boman - the co-founder - came on stage and gave a short speech, thanking all the riders for their continued support to the brand. 

At 9:30, they switched off the house lights and the first film started playing on the projector screen. 

First thoughts - I really missed the director Pratik and the DoP Sheldon. I really wished, among everyone else who worked on the series, that they were there to see it live. 

The second episode got the biggest applause. By the fifth, most people had - sadly - tuned out and were beginning to get antsy. But that's the thing with factual, it's a nerd's creative release. 

Anyway, just felt super nice seeing my first series telecast to an audience of at least 500. Felt nice listening to the applause, to the cheer. Felt nice seeing all the gorgeous shots magnified on the big screen. 

Hope to do more of this kind of work soon.

For now, it's back to FRM. 

Much Much Media

That's what I'm going to call it. All thanks to Amit, who was rattling off a bunch of names from a list he'd made, that made some sense in both Hindi and English. This one just stuck. 

Much Much is -

Conversations, travel, the chatter in your mind, a journey of self-exploration. 

मच मच in Hindi - chatter.

#NarrativizeTheChatter 

Nervous, but also excited to see where this goes. 

One project with Instagram is already lined up. Another one with Jawa, too, and a third with Zorabian might happen sometime next month. 

Lots of work to do, and it's all only just begun!